Friday, April 28, 2006

delighting in me

"Thankfully God is kind of stuck with us. And weirdly claims to be delighted with that arrangement." (Kath)

Man, how often i just wander through the day believing that somehow God puts up with me. That he's welcomed me into the family and yes, that he does love me. That he's satisfied to have me as his. But how rarely I actually meditate on the fact that he's delighted with the arrangement, that he rejoices over me with loud singing (zeph 3:17)

I need to tatoo that verse on my eyelids so that when i blink i will be reminded and when I sleep i will read it for 8 hours. Then I won't forget. The only difficulty then will be getting it from my eyelids into my heart.

thanks kath...


I think I'm speaking for the sake of speaking; updating for the sake of updating. Not alot is happening becuase I have my head buried in exams and essays for the next 10 days. And then...I'm free for the summer.

No big revelations happening for me, other than as every day passes I realise more how self-centered I am and how desperately I need God's grace. How hard it is sometimes to put on those new bright shining clothes and for some reason how easily I pull on my rags. Grace is all I have. And grace is more than enough.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

ally g's new home

My good pal Ally G has got himself a new blog...the old one died. If you wanna see some interesting peices of art Al is working on and read about how he relates art to faith and general shinanigans he gets up to then drop by at:

Monday, April 24, 2006

(Rachel Hughes, from soul sista website)

Monday, April 17, 2006

loving jesus.

This weekend I've been at home in Aylesbury. It's been awesome to chat to different folk at my home church, young and old and just hear about what God's been doing in their lives and their love for Jesus. I find it exciting to be amongst people who from all different expereinces and backgrounds, different ages and different walks of life and discover that Jesus is the most important thing to them. I also find it humbling.

I'm humbled and challenged by 80 year old Audrey who spends hours every day praying and, sitting in front of her, during the sermon I hear the occasional, "amen", "hallelujah". Her heart is thrilled to know Jesus.

I'm humbled and challenged by one of my best friend's mum's who is deaf and tells me that she can't wait for when her daughter gets married (in the nicest sense of the word) becuase then they can move into a smaller house and use the money so she can stop working and give all her time to helping at the church; washing dishes, looking after kids. "Oh how that's my heart's desire" she says. And she means it.

I'm humbled and challenged by David who's wife is in a home and yet he never stops rejoicing. "This weekend has just got better and better for me. The more I hear about Jesus the more delighted I get." He's tired, he misses his wife and yet Jesus is his comfort and his joy.

I'm humbled and challenged by my uncle and cousin who have flown in from Colombia and Venezuala to see my nan. My uncle works for NTM training venzualan missionaries to reach the tribes and my cousin who works for an organisation that trains pastors in colombia in stratiegic discipleship programmes. My uncle started his training at 17 and has been a missionary ever since. His 4 children have all gone straight into the misison field too. Many people may say this is irresponsible, I think it's sacrifice and demonstrates hearts in submisison to God.

I'm humbled and challenged to ask myself, 'how much do I love Jesus?' and 'how much do I earnestly seek the priorities he has for my life?' 'how often do i chose comfort over sacrifice both in time, money and energy?'

"To those whom he has given much, much will be expected."

"Love the Lord your God with all you heart and all your soul and all your mind and all your strength, and love you neighbour as yourself."

Friday, April 14, 2006


Yesterday I finally finished series 1 of 24. I watched it until 4.30am, went to bed and dreamt I was a secret agent being chased by scary people, woke up and watched the last couple of episodes. Today, everything I look at makes me think of Jack Bouer and terrorism. It's a weird place to be.

It's Good Friday today, so I'm going to read chapter 4 of the Cross of Christ. Sometimes, when I find the fact that the death and resurrection of Jesus is the answer for the world, the means of peace with God, hard to believe, I look at books such as the Cross of Christ, with all their intricate explanation of doctrine, and for some reason, that helps me believe!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

becoming fully human

It's been intersting doing a "blog round" and having a nosey at what has sturck those most that have bean at Word Alive. I actually didn't go to very much during the week but had amazing times chatting with some close friends and gospel centred folk, gaining perspective and enthusing about Jesus.

Going through Colossians during the week and reflecting upon this has just made me in awe of the gospel and grace once more. I have been really challenged to ensure that my repentance ALWAYS leads to rejoicing in the gospel and grace. Richard Cunningham's intro to communion on Saturday hammered this home. How often do I sit during communion and beat myself up, praying prayer upon prayer of repentence for my lack of faith, lakc of zeal, and the hurried prayer of thanks for the cross. That's SO what its not about.

I have also been really excited again about my identity, that I am clothed in righteousness. As such I should put on those beautiful clothes, my new clothes and stop going back to those old smelly clothes that don't fit and are just foolish to wear. I am someone new and I am totally free.

"Christ did not come to make us christians but to make us human." (Rookmacher) My life in faith shouldnt be defined by what I don't do but those things that I am, the life in abundance that God has given me and the grace which is poured into my life.

Monday, April 10, 2006

saying goodbye.

My nan is an amazing woman of God and the last couple of days Pod and I have had the priviledge of spending some time with her as she goes through the final leg of the race. My nan has bought up six kids to know and love Jesus and almost all their kids too and some of their kids! Pondering on a life serving God is challenging and she's such an example. I have loads of really great memories of seeing love and playfulness expressed to me.

So now my nan is edging closer to home...all the family that she's raised have been flying in from different places to say goodbye, Antigua, Slovakia, Venezuala...and we all have mixed feelings. Is really hard to see someone you love, go but we're all excited that she's going to see Jesus, who she loves so much. I think she's going to get a hearty 'well done' !!

Monday, April 03, 2006

bored essay writing...try this quiz...

Your IQ score is 133!

You are gifted with the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. Insightful linguists can take complex concepts and articulate them to just about anyone. You have a gift with words and an insight into processes and the way people think.

These talents enable you to explain things clearly to people as you can conceptualise ideas internally and understand patterns on an abstract level.

Try it here:

Why'd you have to be so cute
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go


This morning I am recovering from Christchurch weekend away and attempting to finsih an essay before travelling late to Word Alive tomorrow.

The weekend rocked. Just one of those times when I realise I do actually love my church, and staying was the right decision. Community takes hard work. But sometimes it doesn't and this weekend showed just how much of a family Christchurch is. So open and honest and just mad and crazy. Singing that was so joyous and such a sense of fun. And just lots and lots of prayer ministry and recommitmment which i guess is such a huge part of community.

We shared communion on Sunday morning and as I went up to Hugh to receive the bread he said "Becci (lookng straight at me), remember that Jesus died for YOU." Funny, how we can know something and then at times it suddenly impacts us. For Me. It made me cry.

As I watched everyone else go up, receive the bread and wine and the oily forehead thing I was just overcome with awe at God and his salvation. Every work of salvation is a miracle but when I look at those of us that make up Christchurch I can't help but just be blown away by God's grace in saving such a bunch of us messy people. And that made me cry too!

Christchurch has been quite a tough place for me to be over the last couple of years. At the start, becuase grace was so evident and practised so faithfully, it forced me to be real about myself and come to God and others with honesty. It's great but it hurts. And in the recent months I've found aspects of community just plain hard work for many reasons. This weekend I fell in love with Christchurch again, not becuase it's always easy but becuase they're so gospel focused and so open and honest and just want to know Jesus more and make him known in Peckham. And that's what's important. And it's been important for me to just get stuck in and keep going.