Thursday, August 24, 2006

hello world.

Phew it's been a long time...

I've had a little holiday. Highlights of the last 2 weeks:

1. Spending a weekend with ally g at soul survivor on the UCCF stand.

2. Receieving a text from ally g 3 days later telling me of his engagement to the lover-ly anna - HOOZAH!

3. Spending a few days in devon with my grandparents and good friend mads. sitting on the beach, reading, eating good food, going to little villages and some caves

4. Momentum (soul survivor for older people) and being there as a punter but being able to spend time with a bunch of UCCF people-anna Mc, Kenny and Anna and Pod. Friends from church and CU there too. Praising Jesus, listening to some great teaching. praying together. Enjoying the chilled atmosphere. Not enjoying the rain.

5. Being back in london with a bottle of wine, a chinese take out and catching up with my housemate laurel and trying to help her understand the weird workings of why non-christians might go to a christian festival and then decide that they want to become christians. happy days.

Monday, August 07, 2006

doctor doctor...

Went to the doctors today. I need more tests. It seems that not only do I have inflammation of the stomach lining I may now also have it in the bowel too...though i think this is diagnosable without no more pretty pictures of my insides I'm afraid!

In other news I really like watering plants. Theres something homely and earthy about it. That, and stroking the cat.

Two friends came over tonight to cheer me up. That was nice.

I've burnt my hand on boiling water I poured from the kettle. It hurts.

I have to go to bed...hoping to get to work tomorrow.

where am I thinking?

It is hard to follow a despised, crucified Messiah - unless we fix our eyes on the end. If we do not aim for the new heaven and the new earth, many of our values and decisions in this wolrd will be myopic, unworthy, tarnished, fundamentally wrong-headed. To put the matter bluntly: can biblical spirituality long survive where Christians are not oriented to the world to come? And, in this context, can we expect to pray aright unless we are oriented to the world to come?
- a call to spiritual reformation by D. A. Carson -

In light of this, when I pray, for what am i giving thanks? my thankfulness will reflect the way I think. Indeed everything I pray for, and the way I pray for it reflects my priorities.

How does even the way I pray refect the way I see the world, others, myself and my God? When I pray am I so short sighted and earth bound that I fail to pray in a way that is in tune with God's heart and the prayers of the Bible, of the apostles? What is my greatest priority when I pray for others, when I pray for myself?

How many of my anxieties and selfishnesses would melt away if only I fixed my eyes on Jesus, on the reality of Hell and of the prize that awaits me?

Saturday, August 05, 2006


Sometimes I feel really overwhelmed with sadness. My own sadness, the sadness of my friends, the lostness of my friends, the brokenness of my friends and people I know. I feel overwhelmed with sadness at stuff going on around the world, wars, natural disasters, poverty. sometimes when im in london, passing estates with smashed out windows, yellow billboards advertising the latest murder and desolation on the streets I feel overwhelmed with the needs of people to the point of paralsis and anxiety at how on earth anything can be done.

It's at times like this I am so glad that God knows and understands. I groan with creation, I groan with the groaners for the new heavens and the new earth; for restoration, for peace, for healing and wholness, for every tear to be wiped away and the day we will reign with the king. Meanwhile, my heart breaks.


Urgh, I'm so fed up of having stomach every few days for the last month. Not being able to eat properly and spending sleepless nights on the toilet and cancelling countless shifts at work. Maybe I should pay a visit to my friendly GP...