Wednesday, June 28, 2006

here i am again.

Blank post box. i really dont want to talk about my feelings right now. I always seem to be wrong anyway. And i will only want to delete the post in a few days. I will probably want to delete this post tomorrow. I deplore my melancholy. But it's my reality.

Fortunately i am loved by a God who sings over me, who lets me climb up in his lap.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

martial arts and the art of life...

I saw 'Fearless', the new martial arts film tonight. Amongst my joy of watching brill martial arts on screen, it reminded me of something more...Eastern arts are just as much about the mind and soul as they are about the body. To be a top martial artist is to use every energy the mind posseses in the control of the body.

How often do we fail to understand that about our faith? Jesus did not come to make us Christians but to make us human. He said 'I have come that you may have life, life in all it's fullness.' (John 8:32). Not that we would separate it off into 'spiritual' and 'secular' or those things that I do to make me 'godly' or 'spiritual' and then those that are simply in the 'neutral' zone of daily life.

As Dr. Francis Schaeffer said: "All of life is spiritual, except what is actually sin".

There is something so incredibly freeing about that.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Sitting in the evening sun. All thats stopping me from falling into the thames is the bench im sitting on and the barrier; metal, black. between me and the water. Waiting for Jon to return. I think. Rays filtering through my hair, making what i see, golden. Except i have brown hair. St. Paul's ahead. Wondering what life holds now. Through misted teary eyes, I pray to the God of my life. Silouhettes; bridges, water, plants, my bare legs, south bank bars; buisness men and end of it all women. Lapping waves on industrial beaches. People step over my legs in a bid to get by, Crazy kids, end of school dance on a boat sail down the river. One guy calls out: "get them off!" I sit. Waiting. Waiting for God to show me where my life might be. Sun dances on peaks of the river thames. I close my eyes. I wait.

me, your sunglasess and the people i know 1

Following on from the train project taken with my mobile phone camera, i am working on a new series, complimentary to the first, but slightly different.

It continues the theme of communication, loneliness and identity, only instead of trains im using sunglasses.

In the summer, we hang out with people more than ever. The sun does something to our sense of community and our desire to be free. We wear less and and spend hours outdoors. And yet, we cover up. Sunglasses retain our sense of security and hideness from the world. And the mobile phone continues to be intrusive to the one-on-one real contact. We sepnd more time with each other in the summer and yet still manage to act in ways to barrier our intimacy, whether that's intentional or not.

Here is number one.

i want to fly away

I've been frantically trawling through internet sites to find cheap deals to do something, anything with my summer. unfortunately nothing exists that is free. I just want to do something, go somewhere, even for just a week. To get away, a mission trip, a holiday, an excursion. anything other than working all summer. But what can you do when you're broke except that. sometimes its time to take responsibility. bah.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

my today

Today I was walking down a fairly busy street in peckham when, out of the blue i started crying and couldnt stop. When something hits you it has no respect for time. Sadness can be a pretty inappropriate thing.

But I've been reminded today of the true and precious promises of God in Christ and in those i take refuge.

On a happier note i signed the contract for the house im moving into in september. i chose my room too...yippie doo dah. I love the girls im going to be living with...theyre the kind whose friendship you're always indebted too. As fast as I try and be a good friend to them they are a hundred more times thoughtful and caring.

We drank chocolate and coffee milkshake things in a shopping centre this afternoon and tried on some clothes.

still is my soul

When the storms clouds dark and grey threaten to rain
Still is my soul, Still is my soul
When the waves come crashing in to wash me away
Still is my soul, Still is my soul

When the winter wind starts blowing in
Freezing over every stream
There's a peace that passes understanding
Flowing like a current beneath
Still is my soul, Still is my soul.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

interface mic night Posted by Picasa


WOW. Ive just got back from the first ever UCCF conference for artists. 80 creatives - studetns and practising artists from the visual and perfomance realms, aswell as some key thinkers (from artisan, ACG and L'abri) around such issues gathered together to consider what does it mean to live christianly in the arts.

We had lectures from some super speakers such as Ellis Potter who would get choked up when he recalled pieces of creativity or of doctrine that were, to him, amazing. Ellis Potter led our thinking in what it means to be human and what it means to be spiritual. It was so refreching to be reminded that we're being just as spiritual when we cook a meal as when we read the Bible. For being SPIRITUAL IS BEING REAL. We follow Jesus' example in that.

Ellis also raised questions about what it means to live for Jesus as we make art. To be a blessing and cause people to ask questions, to reveal ideas and provoke discussion over areas of life that need to be explored. To love life and to hunger for reality.

We were challenged to be in cutting edge of our culture. NOt to react to what's put out there but to be at the forefront of creating it.

Raising questions questions questions.

There was an exhibition of work from any of the visual artists that wnated to bring work. I took some photos, and that was a priviledge. I went thinking of it as an experiment and came away enouraged and built up by positive feedback. Not to feed my ego, but giving me the confidence to pursue this gifting and recognise it when prevsiously Ive been so unsure it exists. To embrace my creativity and start working with more fervour, in my enjoyment of God and of life.

Quite posisbly a life changing weekend for me.

The open mike night was astounding. Some of the poetry made me cry with awe and wonder at it's intricate word forming and of the creator God who has created beings to create in such a way. The music was varied and rich and exiciting.

Today we prayed creatively for each other and for the creative industries that God would raise up men and women who create in such a way that we provoke and challeneg and bless and encourage our generation and that we would be at the forefront, the cutting edge of our culture.

The weekend was just superb. Life changing.