alls fair in love and war.

In my best 'love me' pose...

I can't even blame things on my 'deceitful heart' becuase I have a new heart. I am a new creation. And yet the heart I do have just doesn't seem to beat in the right way.

It's not that I've been left high and dry with noone to pay attention to me. Believe me if I were a pussy cat I could be purring all the way to heaven over this year. And I have met some really special people. But yet...Frighteningly, at the age of 21 I am allowing the little phrase 'left on the shelf' to creep in to my mind. Pure ridiculous, of course.

Maybe it's becuase I did meet someone this summer. Someone that surprised me and got me imagining myself walking down the aisle. Maybe that was the problem, just a little too eager. Not desperate, eager. Honest. An 'exceptional young man'-in my father's words. Yes I agree. Quite. But he's confused me and well I don't really quite know what happened between Serbia, Berlin and now. It's all a complicated story and would make a great soap opera episode...ie, complicated but stupidly boring. So I won't bother. But ah well.

The journey continues and I'm waging war not on singlness but on discontentment and having the wrong owners wanting to make me purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. (Don't think about that anaology too much. not good.)

his way or mine?

Wading through beurocracy and rules and regulations. Meeting with people, discussing things, planning things and taking time out to chat to people. Another fab weekend back in London. And it was so good to be back in college all day on Monday even if it was frustrating. Erica, Kate and I walked round for an hour and a half praying and calling on God to work miracles and change hearts in Goldsmiths this year.

From Monday we've been given permission to put John's gospels in the halls of residence. Enough for every person = 1050. Woohoo.

God reminded me that his house will be built his way. There were disappointments on Monday and as I sat on the back field looking at the college, remembering the visions from Momentum I called out to God, questioning why there were already so many barriers to the things we wanted to do for Freshers. God reminded me that maybe my ways are not his ways.

And so he bought along a girl who's just starting her PGCE to randomly chat with me. And thus followed a fascinating conversation about media, feminism and, of course, the gospel.

It's about individuals, friendships. We continue of course to proclaim and organise but God reminded me taking time out to talk with him and with those he's created is of ultimate importance.

"It's great to be a Christian"

"It's great to be a Christian" was on the lips of everyone as Forum 2005 drew to a close on Friday night. 600 students and staff of UCCF had gathered together in the Quinta Centre to hear from God and get ideas and enthusiasm for the year ahead in our CU's. What an awesome week!

For me, Terry Virgo's talks on Romans were just phenomanal. Being reminded that we stand firm in grace. We don't slink in. And when Jesus was crucified so was our old nature which was married to the law. I am no longer a slave to sin. I am a slave to righteous. I am not a sinner but holy and blameless and above reproach in God's eyes. My body is used to messing up and so it's easy to fall down those ruts but there is no reason why I need to. I am a slave of righteous now! Hoorah!

Chatting through the year ahead with my new staff worker and the leaders of London UCCF was such an incredible blessing. To share the passion and vision I have for Goldmsiths and what God has been revealing to me. To be able to pray and cry for the lost with one member of staff was such a blessing and confirmed what it is God has laid on my heart.

To be reminded to stand firm in the gospel and stand firm in gospel ministry despite persecution got me resolutley longing for this to be my battle cry in Goldsmiths this year.

There's an exicitng year ahead and I long to see Goldsmiths as a college that worships and serves God. But there's challenges too. And I'm aware of things bubbling away. God is God of all however and my passion for this to be the cas ein Goldsmiths will come first despite what else is happening.

funny opportunities....

Another trip is over...

It began with a holiday in Great Yarmouth with Jilli. Praise God for such an awesome friend who is so like me and paid for me to go!!


Jilli and I went with ambitions to read and pray together and in doing so, opportunities to chat about Jesus to folk we met. Dangerous prayer. Dangerous prayer.

God answered by bringing 4 people across our paths who were hungry to hear and we had the priviledge of sharing the gospel with.

Picture 2: Erm...a grafitti artist who was a little crazy...the result? I grabbed his grafitti can and scrawled 'two ways to live on a rock'. Hmmm..is that illegal?!

By far the most exciting was two lads who approached us, using a dog and ball whilst we were sunbathing...yes God has a sense of humour. We spent 2 hours on the beach with them drawing things in the sand, using flip flops to represent Jesus and a beer can for God, stones for sin and throwing all sorts of things around and another couple of hours that night in the bar. I learnt God can use any situation and turn it around. Wayne, is hungry hungry hungry to know God. He has his doubts but his questions were pertinent and some of things he siad signified a real genuine need to know. I've linked him up with folks near his home. Hoorah for God!