there we go...again

one more conversation later and the situation changes again...

but it's ok, becuase im used to it. im used to mixed messages and im used to being used to it all not happening. and so really i don't mind. not becuase there isn't some element of hurt and ok, slight anger, but more becuase it makes life easier for me and hey, i still have issues with what could have been anyway. it's never as clear cut when it's trying to make something work again. Something fresh with someone new will always be less complicated but somehow i still find it hard to believe the things that i see and love will come round again.

that's it now. last time that i allow that conversation to be had. im angry it was bought up in the first place. somehow he has a way of putting me in a vulnerable position before him, but maybe without even intending to.

but it's ok. that mantra 'let it be' or rather in God's terms 'trust me' always does the job, puffy eyes and all.