wonderwoman?

My ideal self is different from my real self. I'm always fighting my real self, telling it to shut up and stay hidden in the recesses so that my ideal self, which, is a combination of my real self and thoughts about me that aren't and also what others see can shine. I've come to a point that what my ideal self is not so much a fiction but a warped view of who I am. It's me, plus what I try to be. And actually my real self can't cope with all that my ideal self wants to be. And that's ok. It's just hard to hold my hands up to that and stop the fighting and the trying and accept that I'm not wonder woman!! But actually, it's the most freeing place of all.