simultaeously...
It really distresses me how we can simultaneously build someone up and cause destruction through the very same action. And it hurts me most that I do it the most to those I love the most and I do it to the 'things' I consider dearest too. That the closer I am to someone, the more fragile that line becomes. That my lack of wisdom and maturity can bring about so much diffifulty. It makes me want to run, it makes me want to leave that person well alone becuase I feel then there is no chance of me causing destruction to either them or indeed, myself.
But then I know that this is all a product of being a fallen human being. That this side of heaven I will cause destruction at the times I least want to. And that I shouldn't run despite my instinct to, becuase then I don't learn and I don't grow. And I know that grace is all I need. Grace is more than enough. And right now that's what I need more than anything. And it's what I need to display.
And I know that these things take time and, in time, that dull ache will fade away. For now, I hang onto grace and the belief that only God can heal in all the broken places.
"I feel the pain but it still doesn't change who You are
Nothing I feel is outside of the reach of your arms
My whole world could crumble but all of the pieces remain
In Your hands that are waiting to put them together again."
posted by becci brown @ 5:36 pm
1 comments
1 Comments:
Sounds like you've been going through a tough time too chum. I've been listening to some lectute tapes recently of a l'Abri guy called Cick Keyes. He wrote a book on identity you might find interesting. He talk about how much we like to imagine we are so much more than we actually are. That we have an 'ideal self' that is quite differant to our real selves. I've learned recently how my ideal self is nothing like the reality.
Grace tells us that we have no ideal self. That we have no reputation. That we shouldn't try to build our own reputation - because we just don't have one. Grace gives us the freedom to own up to and be the people that we are in reality, warts and all. God removes our guilt and accepts our shame. Just as we are.
Hope things get better for you. Al
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