grace,,,sigh

It's funny how all the decisions come at once...and I feel spiritually ripped apart. Simply becuase I need to be. It's that thing about grace again. For a while we can plod again, making do with our understanding of grace and God's hand in our lives. And then we realise...

Someone really close to me said something that cut to the core of everything I haven't understood in the last few weeks, everything I'm not and need to be. And that hurts. But the bruising of this kind is the best kind. It wakes me up to who I really am and who God really is and how far my thinking is from what is reality.

I need to understand grace again, like I've never understood it before. I need to know that it's the beginning and ending of who I am and everything I'm called to be. That it's all I need and anything less is to rob God of his glory and place myself in a position that isn't rightfuly mine.

I need my identity to be bound up solely in not what I do, or accomplish or the leader I may or may not be but in who I am in God's sight. His precious child. Not becuase I merit his favour, becuase I absoutley don't, but becuase he chose to bestow his favour on me. In fact, I am dust. God is great and HE is the centre of all that is and all that will be. All the glory belongs to him.