be gentle

A very thoughful comment was posted on my blog: 'depraved' by Mr. Annoymous:

Paul said, "For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?" Rm 7:22-24

Paul was a Christ-like man and yet he still felt depraved. As we grow we become more aware of how bad we really are. Sinners think they are generally good, but when we first meet Jesus we see we are sinners. This grows. Perhaps we are like sunflowers; the more we see of the sun the closer to it we grow, but the distance between the two remains enormous. We too become more like Jesus, but we remain so sinful, so short of his glory.

Paul went on "Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Rm 7:24-25. Jesus Christ will deliver. This is another "now and not yet" experience. We are saved. He has delivered us from sin. Yet we are not completely free from its influence. That day has yet to come when we go to live with him.

As regards whether non-christians are looking for something, perhaps the question should be turned around. Instead, can it be said that non-christians are content?

Thank you Mr. Annoymous. However I am still bemused. I can generally see at times it is lke I'm moving toward a light and seeing myself more for who I am, as Christ strips away my layers and make me mroe like him. But yet, at the same time there are times when I genuinely think I am more sinful than what I was at 10 years old. Partly becuase I have more freedom and capability to do things now than when I was 10. So am I more on a journey being a 'young convert'. Is this the difference between Paul and I? Maybe this is totally another subject. What cna be said of those of us who feel like we've been in a process rather than can pinpoint an actual time and day?

As for the question about whether my friends are content.Who knows. One of them would probably say she is and I would probably believe her. And really, if I'm honest I'm not content like I should be as a child of christ.

Is it more to do with peace and certainty for the future. Or somewhere to run when the going gets tough. My friend is conetent becuase things are good for her. But what if tomorrow her mother dies? What then...will she find the same peace and comfort I would find if mine died?

And I never have to question my purpose for being on this earth. I know. I have certainity.

Thank you Mr. Annoymous. you are correct. As Paul I will always do what I do not want to do. But here is another question I wish to ask...when you're posed with a responsibiltiy...say for example being president of your CU and yet you feel you haven't been living totaly as you should but desperately, like Paul, want to, should you take the responsibility?

I'm baring my soul. Please be gentle.