sometimes...

sometimes i wish that my life was less complicated.
sometimes people laugh at me becuase things end up so damn complicated in my life.

sometimes i love how crazy my life is and all the weirdness that ive been through, sometimes it gets me down and tires me out.

My housemate sam and I were chatting today about life's strange journeys after a house discussion, over indian last night, about mental illness, psychotheraphy et al. I expressed to Sam how I believe that no matter what God is sovereign and has the best for me. But in the small hours when it's just me and the darkness, how much do I ACTUALY believe that?

When the future is uncertain, and it is for everyone, and when at times i feel my heart is most vulnerable, or I'm not sure about the decisions I'm making, where does my confidence lie? When I'm dissappointed and hurt where do I find my security? Who do I align my attitude with?

Do I set my mind after that of Christ Jesus?
Do I run to my Father who alone has my name engrained in the palm of his hand and chose me to be part of his family before the foundation of the world?
Do I trust that no matter what He is Good and He doesn't change?