Friday, March 04, 2005

in response...

In respsonse to comments on my previous post I would write more. Not as a way of refining but of explaining more my thought processes and what may seem like a controversial thing i said.

I actually don't think what I said is wholly controversial, it all depends on how you take it. 'Looking on the bright side of life' is certianly not a phrase that I would use in counselling. Flip, I wouldn't have lasted a month as CU president!! No, more, this is a manifesto for myself, something I am inwardly cultivating. and something I am thinking about. alot.

I guess in essence what I'm thinkin about is that thin line we tread between being realistic about our hurts and working through them and then, on the other side, wallowing.

As I said, there are times of life when we struggle and this sense of positivity is not about ignoring that; these things are real and, there is a time to grieve and a time to cry. Most definatley. And sometimes, illness of the mind prevents any kind of positivity. But there's a very real difference between this and self-pity. Self pity is the attitude that takes it all one step further and is destructive; it's a wallowing in self and a lack of trust in the providence of God.
It is when I allow my thoughts to linger on self and the things that haven't gone the way I PLANNED or the way I WANTED. Broken dreams are not broken at all, messed up plans are not messed up at all when they're seen from God's perspective.

God is most glorified in my life when I am most satisfied in him. And to get me to a point of satisfaction there are certian things that will inevitably happen to me, both good and bad. The object of my life is to learn how to be most satisfied in God and this will only occur when I start trying to see life the way God does. To get down on my knees, through the good and the bad. And in day to day life, to see the things I can thank God for rather than the things I can complain about.

As I said just reading about Paul is enough the challenge me and to wake me up to myself time and time again. And recognise that I need to 'take every thought captive to obey Christ.' That's every thought. And that is challening and humbling.

Maybe it's all far fetched. Maybe it's all rose tinted. But I don't think so, I think it's the hardest thing in the world to submit evry thought to obey Christ and give him my life to do as he wills. Gulp. Inevitably, it's the only way I can be satisfied and it's the only way he is most glorified.

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