getting personal

Location: Internet cafe in paignton
Time: 16.30
Weather: Hot sunny with easterly winds
Agent's status: brown windswept and relaxed

Momentum, Soul Survivor is over for the year and I am enjoying reflecting and having yet more fun in Paignton, Devon with my grandparents and cousin, Richard. As always, I find it hard to express at times what I've been doing and learning and so neevr do. I just hint at certain things and let the conclusions be drawn autonomously. Like postmodern art I guess.

Signifcantly this week at soul surivor God tatooed things deeper into my heart that have been growing over the last few months. Those conversations with drug addicts, dealers and homeless and the way my heart has been aching for these people and being shaped by situations I've been involved with recently took me to momentum wishing to hear from God and seek advice. Attending a seminar on church planting and the poor and also in prayer and meditation during worhsip sessions God emphsasised this longin in my heart. During the seminar the speaker saw I was moved and asked some people to pray for me. Speaking with hiom afterwards gave me ideas and contacts of which to pursue.

And yet, my other heart beat right now is for Goldsmtihs and for my friends. And that is what comes first. This week enabled me to pour out my heart to God to recommit myself to being a light in a dark situation. To plead with God for the college and receive words from him. To cry and to be prayed for. to ask for wisdom and passion, love and boldness to speak and to keep on speaking. A longing to see Goldsmiths as a place that honours and worships God.

"How great is our God. Sing with me. How great is our God." When will they sing with me? Will they sing with me?

"Name above all names, you are worthy of all praise." Far above all philosophers, all thinkers and artists that are held to be the name to admire. He rules.

But most importantly God came and asked me to consdier my relationship with him. To come back to my first love and make loving him and being loved by him my fgirst priorty. To not let whatever ministry or passion I have to define me. My love for him and my relation ship with him. To allow his grace to be what calls me to him and makes me fall to my knees. And then to go.


hmm...this has all been a little personal. oh well.