i got me the blues
i feel bashed and battered from every side. From every angle. That melancholy that I wrote about trying to throw off? well, it's just not being thrown. Like a bad smell that lingers, like an old hamster that just won't die or a spot that refuses to be squeezed.
Anyone got a cure for the blues? Richard you got me song?
Not that I'm self pitying...that's one human atrocities I cannot stand the most but I just can't shift me blues.
But there is no reason. Maybe I've just got too muhc time to think at the moment, too much time doing nothing with no routine. Maybe I've just been spending too much time with God and someone else is trying to jump on my spiritual bandwagon. Maybe the bandwagon has been growing and expanding too quickly and someone's getting angry.
Whatever. the old mindset threatens to consume me with the old addictions and ways of seeing myself and the world.
To be honest as soon as the spot is squeezed all I'll be left with is a little red mark and all will be well
posted by becci brown @ 4:09 pm
2 comments
2 Comments:
If the world you saw this summer is the world you described then you're just realising the world you once thought was exciting, positive and so amazing that you wanted to explore every bit of it, really isn't that great after all. The other 90% of the world should be dragging you down into melancholiness.
Its almost like you rewind the videotape hundreds of times to fully get your head round what you saw, and then - if you want to overcome the way it makes you feel, you have to realise what one of Joyce (a medic in my flat taught me) is that you can't solve the world's problems, and you can't let yourself worry about them, because you then don't function effectively to help those immediately around you. The mental barriers have to be put in place, and realise that upto someone else to deal with it. And that's not necessarily just talking about the wider world.
In effect, that's the point of doing a university degree - that's what they're trying to teach you!
Thanks guys!!
But Dan...I already knew the world sucked but it's also an incredibly beautiful place full of incredibly beautiful people. The time away actually showed me more of how God can use a minnion like me to make a difference if I'm willing to be used. I think that's why I'm struggling a little now.
Sure there's a melancoly that comes with seeing suffering but that's not the melancoly I'm feeling. The heart ache I get from seeing people hurting, drives me to God and makes me see more the hope that Jesus alone can bring.
It puts fire in my boots and makes me fall on my knees.
You're right I can't solve the world's problems but I am ambassador of the one that can. I am the chosen beloved child of the father who works in me all the power that raised Christ from the dead so that I can make a difference. That's why it doesn't make me melancolic.
This melancoly is just my human reaction to lack of routine, missing my friends, pooey weather, lack of money and being a bit of ungrateful sinner!!! hehe...
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